Why Feeling Afraid Is Actually A Good Thing

Ana-Maria Georgieva

5 years ago

Why we don’t want to become fearless:

First, Fear is useful. It has a function in our lives: to keep us SAFE.

Most importantly, we want to learn from our fears.

We want to understand the positive intention of our fear, what the fear is protecting us from, and how we will grow beyond that fear.

Being afraid doesn’t mean you are weak or less brave. It means you are human.

There are two types of fear: physiological (as in the instinctive fear not to cross the street if there is a car driving towards you) and mental (as in the hypothetical fear of what might go wrong if you do x)

The most common fears are:

Loss of Autonomy Separation/Abandonment/Rejection Humiliation/Shame/Worthlessness

These correlate with our need for love, safety, and belonging.

Nobody on this planet is immune to fear. Fear is ingrained in our genetic makeup. We are programmed to seek pleasure and avoid pain.

What IF…𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 you ever KNEW about relationships and success was 𝗙𝗔𝗟𝗦𝗘?⁣
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𝘞𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘣𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴?⁣
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Or would you admit that you don’t know what you don’t know and change your approach?⁣

Any time you sincerely want to improve your life, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards from the heart.
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If something is NOT working (no matter how much we try!), we have 3 choices:⁣
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— To keep 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 the 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 and 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 a 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 result ⁣
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— To keep trying 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗱𝘀 and 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗱 that “nothing works for us”
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— To accept 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 from people who have already walked the path we are on, and 𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪 a secret (and 𝗳𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿!) way OUT ⁣
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𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭?⁣
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Changing your life starts by changing your perspective.

When you say, “I keep failing,” you identify yourself with failure.

When you say, “I’ve experienced setbacks,” you allow yourself to step back from humiliation and self-blame and figure out a different path.

Everything can be figured out if you’re willing to change your behavior.

You can believe anything about yourself, and this doesn’t mean it’s true.

You are the ONE who decides if your self-perception is true or false.

Whether you believe you have what it takes to be successful, confident, and fulfilled or not, you’re right.

Empowering beliefs, combined with inner certainty, is the force that drives you forward when your brain wants to quit.

To be a winner, you have to overcome existing procrastination (which usually comes from extreme perfectionism or the fear of failure/the unknown) and build intrinsic motivation that doesn’t rely on external validation or other people’s approval of your choices ⁣

To change your results, you have to change your self-talk first because it is the precursor of your values and belief system.

You are not your mistakes.

You are not even your talents.

You are what you do when nobody is watching you.

When an opportunity comes knocking, be prepared to take it.

P.s. There are only two options: Reasons 𝘄𝗵𝘆 you can’t or Reasons 𝘄𝗵𝘆 you can. ⁣
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What’s your choice today?⁣

Here are three fundamental beliefs you need to adopt to change your life:

1. The belief that it is possible to achieve your goals.

2. The belief that You Are able to achieve them.

3. The belief that you deserve to achieve them.

All you need to know is already available to you somewhere in your unconscious.

In simple terms, this means that your brain often interprets change as equal to pain.

For example:

✖️ it tells you that CHANGING your diet equals discomfort
✖️ it tells you that CHANGING your workout regimen is too hard.
✖️ it tells you that CHANGING your relationship is too much work.
✖️ it tells you that CHANGING your lifestyle is too inconvenient.
✖️ it tells you that CHANGING your habits is too uncomfortable.

In short, this part of your brain (called the critter brain) doesn’t care if your intention to change benefits your well-being or if endangers it. As far as your brain is concerned, ”changing” means danger; danger means pain, and pain means possible death. Ouch!

Our need for belonging is threatened. This is terrifying because our critter-brain is saying “you’ll die” – even though this is false.

Another example is when a relationship ends, but also when a relationship deepens. A relationship to a partner, your job, or yourself.

Next time you feel afraid to change a habit, remember that feeling fear is part of the process. Your brain is programmed to shut down your motivation to PROTECT you.

At first.

Then comes the frontal cortex which is the more developed part of our brain that is responsible for our choices, and actions.

Being fiercely dedicated to pursuing your goal doesn’t mean you are going to feel motivated all the time or that you won’t experience fears or doubts.

Remember, fear is a self-protective mechanism that mother nature has created for us in order to keep us alive.

Similarly to working out, your brain needs time to adjust to doing the extra mile/pushing one more rep, and feeling safe at the same time.

Small changes create lasting and sustainable results because your brain doesn’t see them as threats.

On the contrary, if you push too hard and too fast, your immune system shuts down, and this leads to emotional and physical overwhelm. Slow and steady always wins the race!

So why feeling fear is a good thing?

Because it is a signal that you are doing something outside of your comfort zone, and that you are stepping into the unknown.

No great inventions would have been possible if we were not afraid to challenge the status quo and change our ways of thinking and being.

Next time you feel afraid, congratulate yourself for the bravery to try something new and evolve from your old “you.”

~ Keep showing up!

Ana-Maria

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