Success, in any area of your life, is 25% of your actions and 75% who you’re BEING, emotionally, while performing those actions
Ask yourself, “Who AM I BEING while communicating with my partner/the people in my life?”
Then ask yourself, “Do I like this person?”; “Do I like the way I communicate?”
Your overall success includes your health and prosperity and the health and well-being of your immediate connections, especially those with your partner/loved ones.
There are two ways to deal with conflict: with INTELLIGENCE or with insecurities and emotional triggers
This is HOW emotionally intelligent people perceive conflict:
- They see differences impartially + are not defensive
- They are able to ingrate opposite perspectives
- They are not fighting for their opinions; they state them calmly without bursting into tantrums
- They look for a practical solution that resolves the conflict
- They seek understanding; not retaliation
- The practice the tenets of non-violent communication
- They don`t play the victimhood card and don`t blame others
- They express their boundaries firmly AND kindly
- They take FULL responsibility for their actions
- They want to learn HOW not to repeat the same conflict again
Do you feel 10 x better when you feel APPRECIATED in your relationship?
What you appreciate, appreciates back!
After coaching different couples throughout the pandemic period (2020-2022) — while using these practices in my own relationship — I can assure you that everyone can revive their emotional intimacy if they stop taking their partners for granted and work on their communication and emotional connection.
When you feel ENOUGH by choice, you attract partners who feel enough, and together, you build a SECURE and mutually respectful relationship.
On the other hand, when an Anxious attachment style and Avoidant attachment style get attracted to each other, their inner wounds usually leads to A LOT of hurt feelings
Wounded people attract wounded partners
Respectively, healed people attract people who have also completed their healing
The more our stress levels rise, the less grounded we feel, and the less likely we are to practice self-awareness.
Also, the higher our stress levels rise, the harder it makes our immune system work and actually weakens it.
Stressed people tend to get snappy and defensive, quickly escalating to conflicts resulting from poor communication.
Talk to your partner in a way that helps them feel safe and supported, even if you are having a disagreement.
Click on the photo above to watch my Masterclass on communication improvement: for free!
How To Resolve Conflict in 5 Steps:
1. Find the cause… ask empathetic questions like “When did you begin feeling this way?”… “How did this problem begin…?” … “How can I fix this/help you fix it?”
2. Uncover the “why” underneath the why of the conflict... conflicts escalate like a volcano… you have to dig deeper than the eruption to find the sequential order of events that are the root of the cause
3. Involve the other person and work as a team … make sure you understand their perspective and are not accusative or judgmental… Ask questions such as “How can we move past this?”… “How can I make sure I am learning from this conversation?”
4. Come up with a solution that is acceptable for all parties.… resolutions are not sustainable unless all parties work as a team and take full responsibility for their behavior
5. Create actions steps that involve a clear pathway forward …avoiding future conflicts before they even arise by remembering the lesson and preventing the conflict from repeating itself … ask yourself what do you plan to do if a conflict arises again, and create anchors that will help you remember the lesson
If you don’t know how to execute all of these steps, I can help!
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