Are You A People-Pleaser? Questions For Personal Reflection

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If you are a chronic people-pleaser,  you can easily get trapped in a vicious cycle of basing your self-worth on external approval.

Are you desperate to gain other people’s approval while neglecting your own needs?

Here are 10 indicators that you are a people-pleaser in recovery

1. You often talk yourself out of the things you want

2. You wait on other people’s permission to claim your desires

3. You often fear your decisions might disappoint someone, like your parents (even if you are not a child anymore)

​4. You avoid asking yourself the tough-love question — “What If I justify my fear because I am afraid of making a mistake and being judged for it.”

​5. You often act as your friends’ parent; trying to take care of them even when they haven’t asked for it

6. You find it difficult to share openly how you feel and, instead, you shut down

7. You expect others to “guess” your needs and feel hurt when they don’t 

8. You secretly resent your environment and judge yourself for wanting more things in life than what society expects you to want

9. You have lost a sense of your identity (very common for people who have spent their entire life in long-term relationships without taking the time to transition between relationships); can`t be alone; need others to complete you

10. You are afraid that if you change, someone will get hurt; or you will lose belonging to your family or friends; you will stand out and be vulnerable

you attract who you are

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