Are You An Active Listener?

Are You An Active Listener?

Deep Listening is the key to having a profound understanding of your correspondant and their deepest truths, challenges, pains, and aspirations.

Very often, it is not what people say to us but they way they say it: their intonation, body language and emotional presence.

When you are able to deeply listen, your own “monkey mind” goes quiet. Your own thoughts fade away. You just hear and absorb what the person is saying.

Why is the skill of being an active listener so important to your relationships? Because this way the person you are communicating with feels heard , and being heard is the experience of being acknowledged, respected, and accepted.

When you listen actively to what the other person is saying you are able to understand what they are telling you without referring to your own experience or bias.

Remember, it is about their experience, and not yours. More often than not, the people we are talking to desire to share what’s going on with them, without necessarily looking for advice.

Sharing is Caring.

Here are two exercises that teaches you how to practice listening without the desire to affect or respond to what the other person has to say – JUST LISTENING.

EXERCISE 1: MIRROR LISTENING

Mirror Listening is a technique to help you stay focused and “tuned in” when listening to other people. When you do mirror listening, you’ll be able to be present in the moment and tune out the distractions around you, as well as the distracting thoughts and feelings within.

Instructions

To get started with mirror listening, start by choosing a youtube video or a talk radio show program.

(1) Choose one person’s voice and start whispering the speaker’s words at the same time the speaker says them. (So that you are mirroring, not repeating after them.) Mirror everything they say, word-for-word.

(2) After you get the first part down, try leaving out the sound. Just move your mouth, mirroring the words at the same time they are being said.

(3) Finally, mirror the words in your mind only. You’ll hear in your mind how your thoughts mirror what is being said, word-for-word, without spoken sound or physical movement.

Give this exercise some time, as it will take practice and effort.

One last thing – after you practice the exercise above, try mirror listening with an actual person with whom you are having a conversation. Notice how the experience is different.

Here’s a practical way to use this exercise in the “real world.” When you are talking with someone and your mind starts to wander off or get distracted, try mirror listening for 20 or 30 seconds, and watch how you tune right back to the speaker.

EXERCISE 2: DYAD LISTENING

Dyads are structured listening exercises between people working in pairs. Dyads are an exceptionally deep and safe method of communication that fosters trust, honesty, and connection between people. This is largely due to the strength of the listening role. The basic premise of dyad work is that communication between any two people can be incredibly powerful and healing, and can be used for transformational purposes.

During a dyad, the person listening is attentive to what their partner is communicating while remaining almost completely silent. The listener does not respond or react to what their partner says, either through comments or non-verbal cues such as smiling or nodding.

Instructions:

Sit down with a partner at a comfortable distance apart, facing each other. You can sit on chairs or sit on cushions on the floor. The partners should be at the same height though. Sit with your back straight and with your head balanced above your spine. Keep your body relaxed and your breathing free and easy.

Listening partner’s role:

  • ·  Keep attention on the speaking partner
  • ·  Listen to what the other says
  • ·  Don’t interrupt the other
  • ·  Make no critical judgments of the other
  • · Don`t make assumptions, just listen
  • · Abstain from giving unsolicited advice
  • · Remember that it is not about you, but about them
  • · Even if you are not sure what to say, be emotionally present

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29 Lessons I Learned In 29 Years

29 Lessons I Learned In 29 Years

29 lessons in 29 years

1. It is not always comfortable to be a nonconformist. And not everyone is supposed to understand or agree with you.

2. Loving yourself is a daily practice that begins with acceptance of everything that you are.

3. Saying “no” to requests is just as important as saying “yes” to your priorities.

4. Feeling vibrant and abundant is a choice we make every single day when we wake up.

5. Forgiveness is the conscious act of releasing the burden of carrying someone else’s mistakes.

6. Confidence derives from feeling attuned to your self-worth: with all of your flaws and imperfections.

7. All projections of our ego serve to teach us how to tame our judgment and be more compassionate with each other.

8. No one can love us the way we deserve to be loved if we don’t allow for this love to merge with our self-love.

9. If we always play “safe” because of the risk of getting hurt, we miss out on the opportunity to seize the moments when our breath gets taken away. 

10. If we base our self-esteem on someone else’s validation, we deprive ourselves of our own approval.

11. Perfectionism is unforgiving, and it prays on our insecurities.

12. The root of most of our sorrows is the self-induced belief of not being enough. 

13. Regardless of one’s upbringing or past mistakes, at the core of our being, we were born enough.

14. Proper nourishment is a form of self-respect. The body is our friend, and it deserves care and attention.

15. The abyss of our fear can only be entered with the courage to follow this fear. 

16. If we hide from our truth, no one would be able to see us as well.

17. Sharing is a form of caring: there will always be someone benefiting from our gifts and passions.

18. When we are hungry for knowledge, our mind feeds itself on discovery and inquisitiveness.

19. I wish I knew all of this when I was nineteen. 🙂

20. If we have a solid vision of what we want, we will get there even if it takes us a couple of years.

21. Our physical attributes are meaningless unless we like ourselves, even if there is no one else to praise us.

22. Our body has innate intelligence whose voice gets muted unless we learn how to “listen” to its cues. 

23. Being an eloquent communicator is derived from mastering the skills of empathy.

24. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and honest bridges our heart the hearts of our audience.

25. Movement and rhythm are the tools our soul uses to express herself physically.

26. The key to emotional intelligence is honoring one’s emotions without being manipulated by them.

27. Having a purpose is not the same as having hobbies. Having hobbies adds joy to our lives. Having a purpose embodies the joy.

28. There is nothing more rewarding in this world than feeling and sharing unconditional love that doesn’t involve attachments.

29. Being a conscious human being is the first step to spreading the light that lives in all of us.

Are You Losing Focus?

Are You Losing Focus?

Remember the time you went to the pharmacy to buy bandages, and you spent 15 minutes wondering which kind to choose?

Correct. The irony is that too many options tend to leave us scattered and prone to underestimating the value of choosing ONE thing at the time and excelling at it, without getting deteriorated from our most important tasks.

If you find it difficult to stay focused on ONE thing at the time, don’t worry. I got you covered!

The  fear-of-missing-out (FOMO) is triggered by the lack of personal boundaries: to prioritize our main goals even if that means saying “no” to less important tasks or hobbies.

As Steve Jobs said, Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.

⤵️
That means honoring our non-negotiable priorities.
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Honoring our non-negotiable priorities requires focus.

Having laser focus requires discipline.

First, allow me to say— I wasn’t born disciplined. I have always been swayed by multiple hobbies and interests:

I love dancing, I love traveling, I love art, I love photography, I love reading, I love writing, I love yoga, I love meeting new people.
However, my main focus, at the moment, is my coaching work. Why?! Because it’s humanitarian and it helps people to feel better.

Having hobbies is not the same as having a life purpose.

How did I say “no” to my other hobbies without feeling as if I was missing out?

By honoring my committed “YES” to coaching clients as my ONE primary focus.

We all have 24 h in a day. The key to being more disciplined is to being clear on what needs to be done FIRST before anything else. This means that, sometimes, we have to turn down requests and miss other fun activities. Remember, there is always be something else that seems appealing or more exciting to do than our current tasks. It is always our own choice how to spend out time.

It’s a perk and a peril to live in a society where there is an overflowing stream of options: from leisure to Netflix, to dining out and even dating. When we have too many options we often find it difficult to stay committed to one main thing.

Download the one-thing-check-list to get started.

Try the techniques in this exercise for at least five days and if you still need help to stay on track with your prioritize – schedule a consultation with me.

A 5-Step Formula To Beat Procrastination And Get Things Done

A 5-Step Formula To Beat  Procrastination And Get Things Done

This is a Straightforward Guide How To Start & Finish Anything:

In 5 Effective Steps

S. Shoot for accountability

This is the most fundamental step of starting anything: a project, a career change, a personal transformation, even a new relationship.

We have to stay accountable that we are moving from wishful thinking to practical execution. Knowing what needs to get done is far different from doing it. Depending on your personality, staying accountable might mean different things. Some folks are innately more disciplined than others and can get away with merely adding a note on their calendar. If you feel hesitant to depend on other people to keep you accountable, do it yourself but be very strategic about it. 

For example: if you have been meaning to fix your car “forever”, adding a reminder on your phone that says “fix my car” is not helpful. Our brain does not follow ambiguous massages; it only follows clear instructions within a specific context.

A much more useful reminder would be “reminding myself to fix my car by Friday,” followed by a reminder “did I do it yet?” It is likely that you will feel quite uncomfortable if you don’t follow your own instructions. I mean, who else would take us seriously if we don`t keep our own word?!

T. Tune in to your “why”

Let’s move on to step two: finding your “why.” 

Whether you want to fix your car to prevent future damage, or you want to shed stubborn weight/change your job/travel more/learn a new language/etc, you can’t start without being clear on your “why.” 

I am sure you’ve encountered people who keep talking and talking about the vacation they wish to take or the healthier diet they are eager to adopt, without doing anything about it. Why? Because they are not clear on their why.  

To achieve clarity and solidify your motivation to s.t.a.r.t, take your journal, and answer these questions with your complete honesty and undivided attention. 

  •  1) My decision to start… (fill in the blank)
  •  2) By starting this…, I am looking to achieve…
  •  3) Starting this… is important to me because….
  •  4) Once I start…I am going to feel more

    (
    accomplished/disciplined/in shape/ choose the emotion that describes you best) in my life
  •  5) Starting this… is important to me because….
  •  6) If I don’t start right now, I will feel….

    (
    defeated/fearful/unfulfilled/far away from my goals/...choose the emotion that describes you best)

A. Aim for consistency

I know that you know that knowledge alone doesn’t equal behavior change.

Even after you have established accountability and are clear on your why, you still need to do it. Some projects get done in a day while others require our full commitment for an extended period of time. Before you start, decide what you want, then break it down to an attainable goal.  Instead of planning to remodel your entire home in one day, which sounds intimidating from the very beginning, make sure your goal is specific, measurable and achievable, realistic and time-bound. (read more here ).



Consistency equals discipline. 

R. Regain responsibility

Regaining responsibility stands for regaining control of your life. We are all human; we all experience days when procrastination seductively creeps in tempting us to give in. However, if you are committed to yourself, you regain your motivation much faster than if you were not responsible for your actions.

The power is in you; you just have to seize it.

T. Take action RIGHT NOW!

Whatever you would like to s.t.a.r.t, do it now. Write down your goal, call a friend, do a google search, order a book, talk to your spouse, go for a walk to clear your head, move your body, eat your veggies… Whatever it takes to get you started, do it. And do it now.

~ There is never a more in/convenient time than now. 

Just s.t.a.r.t.

How To Discover Your “Why”

How To Discover Your “Why”

By following these five steps you would get a clearer understanding of the meaning behind your goals; you would know if the means of the goals is the same as the ending result you think you are after; and you would be more equipped to take a directed and an aligned action.


By following these steps, you will find your WHY 

The paradigm of any substantial change and life-transition is to discover the why underneath the WHY of your decision.

In order to achieve clarity and solidify your motivation follow the steps below and write them down in your journal.



1️⃣ My decision to… (fill in the blank)
2️⃣ By making this transition, I am looking to achieve…
3️⃣ I would like to feel more… in my life
4️⃣ This is important to me because….
5️⃣ If I don’t make this change now, what will my life be like for me six months from now?


Please answer thoroughly these questions and keep addressing them as time goes by (on a daily basis) to keep yourself accountable that you are following what’s the true meaning behind your goal.

For example: people often say they want to lose weight, when they actually want to feel better in their skin and to be more confident; people often chase the goal of making an x amount of money when in fact they actually want a fulfilling career and more freedom to travel and do their hobbies; people often fixate on finding a partner when, very commonly, they want to feel the love they are not giving to themselves, etc.

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Why underneath the why and Henry Ford quote
If you like this quote, share it.:)

Let me know, what is your WHY. Comment here or, if you wish, join my private FB group: by clicking here.


Please remember that you don’t need to have all pieces of the puzzle sorted out in order to enjoy the process of resolving the riddle.
We don’t have to be in a place “z” in order to enjoy not being there yet.
We don’t have to know all of the answers in order to enjoy receiving them with an open mind and a clear from sabotaging fears and worries heart.


What we all need is to untangle the core purpose of our intention and chase not the goal itself but the why underneath the why.



Learn How To Manifest Anything You Want: In 3 KEY steps

Learn How To Manifest Anything You Want: In 3 KEY steps

Reality is bendable to our intention

Thoughts are reactive to our mindset

Our mindset is prone to adaptation to our intention


To manifest anything you desire, you need three fundamental tools: vision, intention and a precise goal.


Before we begin, let’s go over a few facts about our brain:

  • The conscious brain perceives the past and future. The nonconscious brain has no perception of past or future; to the nonconscious brain, everything is happening NOW.
  • The conscious brain operates with a very short-term memory span, whereas the non-conscious brain remembers everything it experiences FOREVER.

VISION

As writer and researcher Dawson Church says in his book Mind To Matter:  “The way we direct our awareness produces profound and immediate changes in the atoms and molecules of our bodies.”

The way you shift your consciousness predicates how you view your reality. Correspondingly, when you create the mental vision for what is it you want and need: your sub-conscious mind begins to align with that thought. 

As Albert Einstein is said to have noted, “Reality is an illusion, albeit a persistent one.” What that means is that for your sub-conscious mind anything you think becomes your belief system; ergo, your beliefs literally shape your consciousness. As a result, you indirectly influence your external world to match your internal emotional state of being. Isn’t it so fascinating how powerful our thoughts are? For me, it is absolutely mind-blowing (pun intended!:))

In the same manner, when you think negative thoughts and experience frequent self-doubt and feelings of undeserving of happiness, you emulate those emotions to the world. As a result, the likelihood is that you are going to pass on on an opportunity to be happy and fulfilled only because your subconscious mind is too worried that you are not capable of coping with success. Quite ironic, isn’t it, but it is how our brain works.  

Once you become adamant and persistent in reaffirming to yourself that you are worthy, willing and capable to create the life of your dreams, your critter brain (responsible for the flight-or-fight response) starts to loosen up and allow your consciousness to believe the thoughts you are sending out to the world through your body language and self-talk.  

Intention

”Intention triggers transformation of energy and information. Intention organizes its own fulfillment.”Deepak Chopra

Productivity is a result of our inner belief system about what matters most. It is what we do with all of those resources: let them spill and turn into nothing, or use them to chase our goals. Once you have the intention to go from point “A” to “Z,” you start to prime your brain that change is not as scary as it seems; intention is the action-map that backs up your vision with a strategic neural linking (I recommend you to continue reading more in this article).

In other words, instead of just day-dreaming about the thing you desire, you start to make a daily action towards it. Eventually, your subconscious mind begins to notice that you are doing the effort to show up for your goals, and you gradually create new neural pathways that match your intention.  Even the smallest step counts! It may take you longer but it is still moving you forward.:). Patience is key when it comes to reaping the seeds you are implanting in your sub-conscious mind.

Goal

Not just a goal, but a goal that is describable. If your goal refers only to a specific noun that is void of meaning (“success,” “money”, “new relationship,” “new career opportunity”), you are literally shooting in the dark when it comes to the law of metaphysics. You need to know very well WHY you want your goal and how , attaining it, will make you feel. When it comes to money, for example, we rarely want money per se. Yes, we need money to pay bills and contribute to the economy, but when we ask for more of it,  we usually mean we want more freedom, more fulfillment, and more security. 

Before you start manifesting, make sure you are really aware of the difference between `wants` and `needs` and ask yourself whether what you want and need results from the same source. If you think you need a job X t, but you actually want to be a freelancer, then manifesting this job doesn’t align with your emotions. So, most likely you won’t get it, or even if you get it, it won’t make you happy, whole and complete. That example applies to every situation. 


To Recap:

The formula for successful manifestation consists of:

1) Having the vision of what you want. 2) Setting the intention to back up your vision with daily action. 3) Focusing your intention towards a goal that is meaningful to your heart, and not just your brain.

~Ana-Maria

Don’t forget to visit me on IG: ana_maria_georgie