What is Non-Violent Communication: Breakdown of Marshall Rosenberg’s Four-Step Approach

What is Non-Violent Communication: Breakdown of Marshall Rosenberg’s Four-Step Approach

The term “nonviolent communication” is best known as a method of communication created and synthesized by the late psychologist Marshall Rosenberg.

In his The 4-Part NVC Proces, Rosenberg established four steps that could guide us to express our emotions clearly and without blaming or criticizing, and to empathetically receive what other people are conveying to us – without hearing blame or criticism

Relationships are hard but also essential for our growth. Anthony Giddins, a pioneer of the study of sociology, argued that being left in isolation is one of the most forceful punishments. 

Human interaction is essential for our well-being. However, just because we are articulating our thoughts verbally doesn’t mean we are communicating with each other effectively. The 4-step method created by Rosenberg gives us the tools to do that. In this article, I am breaking down the concept of non-violent communication and guiding you how to execute it in your own relationships.

1. Observe and recap

  • recapping what someone has said, without emotional input
  • not attaching any judgment or “story” to your response

i.e., ”I hear you say…” instead of “You just said…”.

2. Describe emotions, not opinions

  • talk feelings, not issues.
  • don`t state your opinions as facts
  • stay open for the other person`s point of view

i.e., expressing what are you feeling without translating your emotions into blame. For example: “I am feeling a bit neglected right now. Let`s work it out,” as opposed to “I am sick of you not finding time for this relationship. It`s over.”

3. Identify needs

Rosenberg found that human needs universally fall into one of a handful of categories, including connection, honesty, peace, play, physical well-being, a sense of meaning, and autonomy.

  • take a moment to identify what you need as opposed to what are you feeling alone

i.e., you might feel neglected, but if you dig deeper you may find that your unmet need is about connection and quality time with your partner. If you are the recipient of your partner`s unmet needs, on the other hand, commit to listening first instead of reacting impulsively and feeling blamed.

4. Make a request

  • clearly requesting that which would meet your spoken needs without demanding or nagging
  • empathetically receiving a request without being judgemental or unwilling to take it into consideration

i.e. “Would you be willing to create more time for intimacy?”- on the requesting end, and “I am setting the intention to create more conscious time for intimacy” on the receiving end.

If you would like to read more on this topic, review the related articles under this link (or scroll down the feed)

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Letting Go Of Control: Tips For Easier Surrender And Releasing The Past

Letting Go Of Control: Tips For Easier Surrender And Releasing The Past

The secret of happiness is knowing that there are some things you can control and some things you cannot.” – Epictetus

Letting go of what is outside our control doesn’t equate apathy or ignorance. Feeling our emotions in their raw tantrum is the only way to, later on, release the avalanche of regret, doubt, fear, rejection, betrayal, and loneliness. Letting go of accusations, victimization, and self-pity doesn’t mean we ignore our emotions. It means we are not being manipulated by the illusion of being purposely wronged or mistreated. As the saying goes, Life doesnt happen to you, it happens for you. All wounds are teachers. And the best ones.

But sometimes we forget that with our thoughts we attract everything that happens to us. And instead get trapped in a perpetual and draining self-induced feeling of separation, martyrdom, and injustice. We start blaming the situation instead of looking within to find what we must change to stop creating the same reality over and over again: of feeling

unworthy/betrayed/wronged/cheated/unappreciated/dissatisfied/jealous/envious/unattractive/ unlovable/unsuccessful/etc.

  You probably feel a sense of repulsion just from reading the listed qualifiers, due to their negative vibrational frequency. Yet, sometimes we subconsciously repeat them to ourselves – every time when Life sends us a challenge or tests our reaction to events that are outside of our control. No wonder we keep repeating the same patterns of behavior that “prove” our limitations to be true instead of consciously releasing those limiting beliefs from our cellular memory. Most of us want a thriving relationship, loving family environment, a fulfilling career and on overall prosperity. However, we most likely will continuously struggle to create our best life (and keep the affluence flowing) if there is a hidden blockage in our subconscious mind that doesn’t allow us to believe that we are capable and deserving of happiness, success and unconditional love.

Knowing that we are always protected by our higher self, and our higher purpose in this life is not the same as actually believing it. Belief requires surrender and a conscious release from subconscious blockages that trigger the doubts and fears we experience when life events and people don’t meet our expectations. Yet, it`s never them that fail us. What we choose to believe is what manifests for us. Believing that everything and everyone enters our life at the perfect time and place saves us a lot of worrying for the things and people who exit it, or come to us in a later time and phase of our growth.

Knowing that you are not in control of other people but are in control of your own mind and emotional body will forever liberate you from the chains of attachment to the past.

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Silently repeat to yourself and embrace your physical body with a loving hug: as if you were your own best friend/lover.

 

The Practice

Whatever that has happened or is happening to you is a result of the past. And even if you can`t change it, you can change how you see it (and how you see yourself). I lovingly ask you to start this practice today and do it every day for the next twenty-one days.

Now please take your journal and begin writing down all of the affirmations I wrote down for you, as you can add your own and adapt them to your own language. Please note that is very important to say them in present tense and to keep them action-oriented.

Afterwards, please free-write about the emotions this practice is about to invoke in you and close the practice with the mantra: “I choose to allow those affirmations to work for me and to guide me towards happiness and self-acceptance.

The Affirmations

“Today, I lovingly release the pattern in me that…*”

(*for example: the pattern in me that doesn’t allow to be loved/the pattern in me that attracts toxic partners/ the pattern in me that is afraid of success/the pattern in me that repeats the behavior of my parents/the pattern in me that procrastinates/the pattern in me that attracts scarcity/the pattern in me that is always late/unmotivated/jealous…etc.)

“Today, I accept myself as I am.”

“Today, I move forward and let go of the past.”

“Today, I choose to change and forgive myself and others”

“Today, I lovingly release all negative feelings from my mind and body.”

“Today, I choose to feel better about myself and everything that happens to me.”

“Today, I release all limiting beliefs that hinder my happiness.”

“Today, I choose to feel complete, whole and guided.”

“Today, I choose to treat everybody with compassion and kindness, including myself.”

“Today, I choose to speak up and express my needs with love”

“Today, I choose to be liberated from any blockages or fears that hold me back.”

“Today, I choose to be calm and feel supported in everything that happens.”

“Today, I invite love to find me, and I stop looking for it elsewhere. It is already in me.”

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If you would like to inquire more about this practice and learn how to create your own affirmations depending on a life event/or trait you want to work on, please send me an email.

 

With Love and Care,

Ana-Maria

p.s I hope you found this article inspiring. Please share it to someone you know who might benefit from this practice. 

 

 

 

 

Follow my blog on IG: ana_maria_georgie

 

 

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Connect To Your Heart With Meditation

Connect To Your Heart With Meditation

Our heart contains the memory of every moment of triumph, defeat, happiness, sorrow, courage and angst we have experienced in our lifetime.

On a biochemical level, our heart literally tries to protects us from experiencing a situation resembling old trauma or negative experience by shutting down and triggering the fly or fight impulses. Thanks to the so-called messenger molecules, our brain translates every emotion into a chemical equivalent that we feel in our whole body (liver, kidneys, intensities) but mostly in our heart.

For example, it is very common that people become closed off for new romance shortly after a break-up because the heart acts as a guardian and tries to keep us at bay from falling again for an emotion that may hurt us. In this case, it is very important to be very mindful of your past and mindfully and continuously attest to your heart that is safe for you to be loved, respected and heard. In order to practice this conscious attainment to your heart health, you need to spend the time to retrace the earliest memory you can remember of you being hurt or neglected as a child (or a young adult) and send healing thoughts to that experience. Now lovingly reassure your heart it is safe for you to let go of past pains.

That equation applies to every other situation and relationship. It might be a colleague/your boss/a family member/an estranged friend. Very often we attract people that resemble a behavior we are trying to escape from. Perhaps your boss is disrespecting you, or your colleague is talking down on you; or your family members are not supporting your lifestyle choices?

Whatever that might be it is always a reflection on your view the world and yourself. Whatever we project is mirrored in the external environment and the way people treat and perceive us. And it all begins in your heart. If your heart is tuned to vibration of unconditional love and compassion you will begin to emanate this to everyone you meet and they will subconsciously start to mirror your vibration of self-respect, mindfulness, and kindness. The most efficient way to be more attuned to your heart is through movement therapy and meditation.

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I created a clip for you with instructions you may follow to start your meditation practice.

    • Begin by visualizing your heart shining brightly surrounded by light.
    • Place your hands a few inches in front of it without relaxing them on your chest. The heart has a very high magnetic frequency and you might even feel your hands warming up. Imagine a golden thread connected between your heart, hands, and temples.
  • Align your thoughts to match the vibration of peace and surrender. Then stay in stillness and let go of any thoughts. Just feel your heart, and listen. Ask your heart what does it need and why does it want? What is it afraid of and is it ready to let go?

My favorite meditation music for this practice.


I hope this article serves you well. Spread the wellness vibes by forwarding this meditation to a loved one who is going through a hard time and might need that. Check out my health coaching services.

 

 

With Love and Care,

Ana-Maria

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Self-Love Practices

Self-Love Practices

Love, scientifically speaking, is not more than an illusion created by a mix of chemicals and hormones that produce the fuzzy feeling we feel in our heart for another person.

Yet, philosophically speaking, there is more to love than the “feeling” we associate with its presence or lack.

Love is a choice. Love is a daily commitment to validating that choice with our actions. Love doesn’t fade, even when the sexual attraction begins to subside. Love is caring and always present, even when we hurt, or experience pain. Love is omnipresent. It exists in and for all of us. Love is our state of consciousness and is our responsibility to access and spread it generously to those we encounter.

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Spread some love and share this article ❤

A common misconception is that love just happens to us without us doing anything to attract it to our life. True, it is very possible (and frequently occurring) to meet a stranger that emanates magnetizing charm that pervades our imagination and succumbs us our hormonal state to a state of abiding arousal, also known as infatuation

Yet, technically speaking, we owe that attraction to the exchange of pheromones and our fantasy-subconscious that is responsible for our perception of the ‘other’ as a highly compatible lover: which, by itself, does NOT necessarily translate to long-lasting partnership compatibility!

In other words, in order to attract a relationship that lives beyond our present state of lack (as, very often, we get attracted to people that possess a quality we want, but don’t have) we must enter a state of mind that is already tuned to self-love and compassion.
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We cannot attract (or even witness love, even if is there in front of us) if we don’t feel as we can/want/or are ready for it.
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Love is everywhere around us. It is not a container that ever goes empty.

And You, dear reader, have an equal share.

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Before you start dating please first ask yourself:

    • Are you ready to attract a thriving, loving relationship that fills us up from the inside out?

 

    • A relationship that is not conditional and is ever-flowing?

 

  • A loving relationship that is not selfish and is healing?

If the answer is YES then you must love yourself first before loving someone else. If the answer is NO then you must love yourself even more before loving someone else.

Here are my personal practices for self-love.

  1. Gratitude. Every day find a time in your day to be grateful for having a heart that can love and be loved by others. Live your life as you already have the intimate partner you desire. How would it be to have them in your life? How would you feel? How would you act? Imagine the excitement you will feel spending time with them or responding to their text message. Now send all of that ecstatic vibration back to your heart and thank the Universe for sending love your way, every day.)
  2. Spending time doing something you love. That’s an activity that is uniquely yours but I recommend you to do an activity that is independent of external stimuli and you can do by yourself. Check out my curate your happiness ritual article.
  3. Exercise and eat proper nutrition for your body. This one is SO important! You need to feel connected to your body to release stress and connect to your creative power (the same chakra – Svadhishthana – associated with our sexuality, fyi!). Eating an alkaline diet will help you to stay hydrated and more in tune with your body and heart. Loving your body brings you self-respect, confidence and healthy sexuality.
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Practicing yoga is a gentle and loving way to energize your body and release stress.

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The more love we feel for ourselves, and for the world around us, the more love we will attract to our lives.
Do you love yourself enough? Take a moment to reflect and be very honest with yourself…

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~ With Love and Care,

Ana-Maria

 

 

 

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How To Shift Your Mindset

How To Shift Your Mindset

What We See VS What We Choose To See Are Two Different Dimensions Of The Reality We Create In Our Minds. 

A glass can be half full or half empty depending on our perception. A situation can uplift or downgrade our efforts depending on which outcome we focus our intention.

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Believing in yourself is a process that requires patience and kind self-talk.


Our vision is a direct result of our inner state of “seeing” the world. When we focus on searching for the good in all circumstances, the good will appear. But first, it will test our patience. What we see in others is a reflection on our own behavior and personality traits.

Everyone poses some overt darkness. It is we when we invite the light that we can forgive those who have harmed us and peacefully detach from them. It is when we choose to seek love in us, that love responds and is reflected back on us.

What we attract is a mirror of our state of consciousness and empathy for the world and its injustices and pain.

When we feel compassion and acceptance – we attract compassion and acceptance back to us.

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That applies to our body image. What you see in the mirror is a reflection of your inner state of being. If you feel confident and accepting of your shape – you will project it in your outer appearance.

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According to the Cambridge Dictionary’s definition of the semantics of this word, confidence is “the quality of being certain of your abilities or having trust in people, plans, and the future.” That certainty that we can deal with everything that happens in our inner and outer hemisphere is symbolized by our embodied language. When we emulate trust, acceptance, and love for ourselves and the people around is, it is effortlessly radiating through our physical appearance. 

On the other hand, when we are stressed, anxious or scornful – our posture tends to hunch down, our face gets tense, our stomach feels tight and our hormones easily go out of whack. One of the most significant boosts of confidence is physical exercise, combined with positive self-talk, meditation and an alkaline diet. You cannot only heal your mind, without taking care of your body too.

Shifting your mindset towards the creation of a positive relationship with yourself is an ever-changing journey that often stumbles upon challenges that will test your will-power.

It requires patience, compassion for the struggle that comes with it, and a strong desire to change. And it first begins in your p e r c e p t I o n…

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My IG Account: @ana_maria_georgie

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3 Easy Ways To Uplift Your Spirit And Feel More Supported

3 Easy Ways To Uplift Your Spirit And Feel More Supported
The Universe always has our back, even when we don’t see it. What we don’t know, yet, gets revealed to us, but only when we are not shadowing the signs we invite to receive.
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The Universe holds us accountable for our choices as it mitigates their consequences: every move we make either deteriorates or move us closer to our soul’s purpose on this earth. And we don`t know if we are moving toward the right direction until we are taking action and speeding in momentum. Without regrets or holding on to our comfort zone.
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Looking back, there is no Past. Just a distant memory we are transcending into the present day. And is up to us to create memory lines that frame our growth and prepare us to seize the very moment that exists in our heart of mind.

Use these strategies to uplift your spirit when you need to feel more support/ed.

Spend loving time alone where you can reflect on your challenges and create a strategy on how to move forward. For example: if you feel stuck in a situation that doesn’t seem to be resolving on its own – let go of trying to control it and shift your focus on other projects and activities that bring you fulfillment and destress your mind.

Do yogic sequences that strengthen the spine and stretch the back muscles. The mind&body connection is so vital when we are losing alignment with our inner sense of security and support. Bringing your awareness to your spinal column creates a physical sense of empowerment and grounding into your power center (learn more about the chakras here.) I also suggest moving in and out of warrior and child’s poses to ground, detoxify and connect you to the earth. 

Sip more tea. Yes, the simple routine of drinking tea when we feel stressed is proved to calm the nervous system and clear our minds. As you sip your tea, I recommend you spending five-ten minutes alone listening to meditation music and writing affirmations in your journal, such as: I am supported. I am calm and confident in my power. I have a strong body and a strong spirit. I have the ability to conquer my challenges. All is well in my world. I am safe and supported. 

Writing and repeating affirmations is a very very powerful way to create more happy hormones in your body (thus decreasing stress) as well as to teach your subconscious mind the kind of beliefs you want to have about yourself. Writing them down creates a better connection between the cerebral neocortex and your physical self-awareness.

Exercise, in combination with mental work and a healthy eating regimen, facilities the process of generating more trust and confidence in our power to be strong and self-reliant. 

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Credit: Aaron Robbins Photography

If you would like to read further check out those two articles: how to curate your happiness rituals and how to preserve your positive experiences.

Have comments or questions? Let me know!

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Unleash Your Creativity In Three Steps

Unleash Your Creativity In Three Steps

I genuinely applaud you if you’re the kind of person that never faces self-doubt. 

However, statistics show that most creative souls experience an immense amount of self-doubt and creativity blockages.

In reality, creativity is an ever-flowing source of inspiration.

it is when we COMPLETELY let go of the inhibition to be creative when we can unleash our already inbred creative power.  

Below are my three pillars of tuning in to creativity – the creativity we all humans have inside us, regardless of our “left”/“right”-side of the brain predispositions.

I. EXPRESS

We express our creative talents differently. Some of us like to play an instrument, to sing, to paint, to cook, to write poetry, to take photos…

Once we find it, we must connect to it and recognize it as our source of intrinsic and omnipresent passion.

When we are passionate about our creative mark, inspiration follows us everywhere we go. 

We begin to “breathe” our art, to exhale creativity and tune in with its medium of expression.

II. HONOR

The opposite of passion is stagnation.

And stagnation stems from fear: fear of not being good enough, creative enough, skillful enough, experienced enough, worthy-of-calling-yourself-an-artist enough. 

And that’s why so many people live their lives in regrets for not following up on their childhood passion to play the piano, be a painter, learn how to sing, take more dance classes, etc.

There is this stereotype that if one hasn’t been working on their gift from an early age they are doomed to abandon their needs for creativity and wait for another lifetime to pursue them.

And that’s, in short, the shame of following up on an idea what creativity is, without honoring your unique life situation.

Whether you have been an artist all of your life, or you suddenly wake up one day in your 40s, with the desire to sing/paint/play an instrument/etc, honor that need.

III. CULTIVATE

When you find what makes you feel joyous and creative, you have to begin showing up for it and set time in your life to just do it.

Read more here.

With Love and Care,

~Ana-Maria

 

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