The term “nonviolent communication” is best known as a method of communication created and synthesized by the late psychologist Marshall Rosenberg.
In his The 4-Part NVC Proces, Rosenberg established four steps that could guide us to express our emotions clearly and without blaming or criticizing, and to empathetically receive what other people are conveying to us – without hearing blame or criticism.
Relationships are hard but also essential for our growth. Anthony Giddins, a pioneer of the study of sociology, argued that being left in isolation is one of the most forceful punishments.
Human interaction is essential for our well-being. However, just because we are articulating our thoughts verbally doesn’t mean we are communicating with each other effectively. The 4-step method created by Rosenberg gives us the tools to do that. In this article, I am breaking down the concept of non-violent communication and guiding you how to execute it in your own relationships.
1. Observe and recap
recapping what someone has said, without emotional input
not attaching any judgment or “story” to your response
i.e., ”I hear you say…” instead of “You just said…”.
2. Describe emotions, not opinions
talk feelings, not issues.
don`t state your opinions as facts
stay open for the other person`s point of view
i.e., expressing what are you feeling without translating your emotions into blame. For example: “I am feeling a bit neglected right now. Let`s work it out,” as opposed to “I am sick of you not finding time for this relationship. It`s over.”
3. Identify needs
Rosenberg found that human needs universally fall into one of a handful of categories, including connection, honesty, peace, play, physical well-being, a sense of meaning, and autonomy.
take a moment to identify what you need as opposed to what are you feeling alone
i.e., you might feel neglected, but if you dig deeper you may find that your unmet need is about connection and quality time with your partner. If you are the recipient of your partner`s unmet needs, on the other hand, commit to listening first instead of reacting impulsively and feeling blamed.
4. Make a request
clearly requesting that which would meet your spoken needs without demanding or nagging
empathetically receiving a request without being judgemental or unwilling to take it into consideration
i.e. “Would you be willing to create more time for intimacy?”- on the requesting end, and “I am setting the intention to create more conscious time for intimacy” on the receiving end.
If you would like to read more on this topic, review the related articles under this link (or scroll down the feed)
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If you are surrounded by people who bring you down, you’re very likely to succumb to their negativity. But that shouldn’t be the case!
1) Accept that you’re not responsible for other people’s behavior.
But you’re responsible for your reaction to what happens around you. Forgiving injustice doesn’t mean you condone it. It means you choose to protect and honor your sanity. You forgive in order to set yourself free from grudges! Forgiveness is an act of self-care.
2) Accept that suffering often drives progress.
Think about it: if your job makes you miserable, your relationships don’t fulfill you, or your body doesn’t deal happy and healthy — that in itself is a baddass motivation for moving on and changing your life! If it is unbearable to remain stuck in unhappy life, it becomes bearable to face your fears, seek help, and move on.
3) Accept that reward is on the other side of sacrifice.
What happens after a sweaty exercise that kicked your butt a hundred times in a row? You brush off the sweat and feel amazing! The endorphins kick in and you forget about how hard the workout seemed in the beginning. Now you’ve entered the joyous state of victory and self-accomplishment.
Yes, hard work is hard. Change is hard. But it pays off!
Ask yourself: do you prefer to pay the price of stress and misery or do you prefer to pay the cost of changing your mindset, and to improve the quality of your relationship to yourself and others?
Dieting does not work. Deptivation does not work. Feeling lost what to eat is exhausting.
The hack to attaing your ideal weight is to figure out the 5Ws.
How to eat
What to eat
When to eat
Where to eat
Who are you when you eat
In my coaching work, I can help you to uncoverwhat’s been stopping you from achieving your goals before; teach you how to create a powerful vision of what achieving your goals will do for you and for your relationships; help you discover which foods and lifestyle habits are getting in a way with your optimal wellness; and, most importantly, encourage you stay committed to your new habits until they become your second nature.:)
In this 90-day program you will receive:
on-going support from me (via texts, emails, and weekly check-ins)
on-going guidance on nutrition and mindful eating
new meditation recording each week for inner peace and calm
customized affirmations that assist you to visualize and attract your end goal
Upon completion, you will achieve 3 major outcomes:
Setting up the conditions for inevitable success
Finding out which foods are right for your body
Converting these new healthy habits into behaviors that last!
If your goal is not not only to shed the stubborn weight but to feel more energized, vibrant and lighter, this program is for you!
I honor you for taking this step and look forward to supporting you on this adventure.
~ With love and care,
Dear Ana-Maria, I want to thank you for sticking with me to help me shed over 25 pounds! You helped me change my diet for the better. Previously, I was afraid of food. You taught me about foods that I had never heard of before. You taught me how to “eat my greens” and really like it. You taught me quick, easy meals and some of them are portable…We also worked on my mental “baggage.” There were issues from my childhood that were still weighing me down with fear and self-doubt. The affirmations you sent to me were wonderful, for 2 reasons: (1) because it was obvious that you really heard me, and (2) because addressing my issues as they came up over the months, you helped me teach my brain how to set these things aside in appropriate wats through the affirmations and meditaions of the week…I feel great. Now that I have less weight to move around I move around much more easily. The little aches and pains that are usually attributed to getting older are a non-issue. I am dancing more, I am walking more, I am enjoying my life more…Issues that used to get me down or make me angry no longer tun my life. I don`t dwell on them like I used to. They no longer hold power over me. – V. R.
“Thank you, Ana-Maria for your patience and understanding. I recognize that being healthy is about more than just food, it includes stress issues and exercise. You have been so patient with me, helping me past my natural resistance to change, helping me get restorative sleep, dealing with my likes and dislikes in foods, and giving me personal exercises that I can do. The personalized meditations are outstanding. You help me to let go of my fears. The weekly check-ins are so beneficial. During the week you send me wonderful recipes and you listen to my feedback on them and adjust them as needed. I never got much from affirmations that I learned from other “coaches” because they didn’t understand who I am and what I do. The “one size fits all” didn’t fit for me at all. The specific affirmations you have given me, make all the difference. When I tell you the negative things in my life, I am confident that you take these in confidence, but the cool thing is, you carefully turn them into positive goals without ever mentioning the negative place they came from. I expected to go through some changes with my body, and I expected that some changes might be hard to handle, but you helped me through it all with new techniques I had not heard of before, which made the changes easier and the results are terrific. Already I am healthier and stronger than I have been in quite a while.” – Ginger R.
Before booking, please allow me to emphasize that carrying an extra weight usually means some sort of imbalance between yourself and your body. However, my job is not to assist you to chase an unrealistic weight-goal for your frame, but to help you arrive and maintain at the weight that is uniquely perfect for you.
This holistic weight-loss program is designed to give you great results within 90 days; however, you may continue to work with me after the three-month frame 🙂
To book an introductiory session (and/or) inquire more information, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. I will contact you back within a 24-48h frame.:)
It is Your time to feel confident and empowered!
Health coaches trained by the Health Coach Institute achieve “habit change” via coaching and do not diagnose or treat disease, prescribe medication, or perform the functions of clinical occupations. Always consult your doctor. Your health coach is happy to work with your physician’s guidance to best support your wellbeing.
In this post, I guide you on how to transform old limiting beliefs, transcend them into neutrality, unconditionally accept and respect yourself, and build unstoppable confidence.
My personal experience with the practices I share with you here not only helped me heal from chronic self-doubts but also allowed me to fully blossom in my worth as I released the sabotaging fears I carried in the past.
And I believe you are going to be transformed as well!
Before heading to read my guidelines please take a few minutes (or more) to center yourself in a quiet place and tune to your subconscious mind. Let your intuition guide you and show you, without any judgment, where is the area in your life you need to go first: to reorganize, clean, set in order, and move on from.
Then please evaluate where do you tend to lose your ground, lack enough assertiveness, and fall prey to your our inner critic.
I suggest you write it all downon a piece of paper and come back to it in a week to check if you are making progress. I ask you to commit to this practice for at least 21 subsequent days. You may then continue it as long as you need.
People See Us How We See Ourselves.
Have you ever experienced mirroring people’s attitudes, insecurities, self-judgment, and disparagement? Which is really their own, but you maybe tend to perceive it as directed to you? I know I have! I used to constantly attract experiences that were “proving” to me that I was unworthy of love, happiness, and success. The memories of my past were trapped in my subconscious mind and I didn’t know how to move forward. But, no, our past doesn’t define or control us. But we are programmed to assume that it does until we realize that it doesn’t, and take action to make amends with it and move forward.
We are constantly affected by our thoughts. Scientists have estimated that 95% of how we mediate our self-perception is directed by and through our subconscious mind.
When your mind is trapped in negative feelings and memories from your past you continue to emanate them through your present state of being.
We ALL are a product of our environment but we are also in control to master the way we navigate it to either “break” or “make” us stronger and better. And heal!
Take a few more minutes to reflect where do you lack enough confidence in your life.
Maybe your parents didn’t show you enough encouragement while you’re growing up?; or in high-school you experienced bullying?; or maybe your loved one(s) abandoned you?; or maybe it was you who feared commitment?; or it’s nothing from the above but you currently face too much stress and anxiety at your workplace, and are unable to cope with your apprehension and inability to stand up for yourself, and be confident amidst challenges?; or you struggle to love and accept who you are without the need of external validation of your worthiness?
It takes time to shift from the past, rebuild a positive self-perception, let go of the beliefs about yourself that hold you back, stop caring about what others think, and step confidently in your power.
But you can do it. All you need is yourself, a journal, and a discipline to take the time to explore your journey and cultivate the skills you need to become stronger, better, and self-knowledgable.
I. Find your WHY
The first principle of building an unshakeable confidence is to establish your “why.”
Why do you do the things that you do? Why do you dress the way that you do? Why do you avoid certain activities or chores? Why do you get offended/or elated by particular comments? Why do you tend to attract certain people? Why did you choose the profession that you practice? Why do you feel excited about certain things and/or don’t feel motivated to follow trends that seem to satisfy other people? Or, conversely, why do you take responsibilities that are not yours to take just to please someone else/comply with social conventionality? Why do you speak, or don’t speak your truth? Why are you reading this post?
What Is Your WHY?
In life, in your relationships, and in your career.
In order to answer those questions the most truthfully (and metaconsciously) please take a pen and let it out. You might be surprised how much gets revealed in writing, even if you’ve never received high grades on your papers in high-school or college. Because free-writing has nothing to do with creative writing although I must admit it makes it even more enjoyable if you do love writing. Regardless, journaling doesn’t need to sound elaborate, use sophisticated syntax, be proofread, or even make sense. All it takes is curiosity and eagerness to get to know yourself better.
No deep awakening happens overnight (pun intended) and you may need weeks upon weeks (took me a couple of years) to arrive at a place where you can confidently say that you have a comprehensive knowledge of your personality and why do you act, speak and do the things that you do. Yet, every journey has a first step, and this one begins with a daily observation of the ways you communicate, the feelings you experience, and the old beliefs that sometimes haunt you, again and again. And WHY.
Once you know clearly WHY you’re on this earth, what is it that makes you happy and why you would never be happy if you follow a path that doesn’t, confidence becomes a natural expression of how you move through life. No one can budge you when you are rooted in your wholeness.
As the prominent psychologist Carl Rogers said: “The Great Majority of us cannot listen; we find ourselves compelled to evaluate, because listening is too dangerous. But all it takes is courage.”
It is hard to listen to our deepest voice. Because it often says things we don’t want to know or be reminded of. All it takes is courage. And an eagerness to stipulate your why.
II. Practice Neutrality
After we built the fundamentals of our confidence-house in the first segment now it is going to become easier. Once you develop the knowledge of “why” certain people affect you would know how to transcend it. People see you as you see yourself.
If you take it to heart when people criticize or judge you, it is because you’re, yet, not confident enough to know why you are who you are. No one is immune to harsh words and negative comments but when we know deep to our core that people’s feedback is a reflection of their reality, and not ours, we can step back and perceive their judgment with more compassion. I go into more detail on how to deal with judgment and criticism here. The sooner you embrace your worth and be bold to take action to change the behavioral traits that hold you back, the way people see you will start to shift as well.
To fully practice neutrality we need to also step back from taking compliments too personally. Of course, receiving words of encouragement, praise and support is a cherished aspect of our communication with our friends and amicable strangers. However, when we become reliant on external encouragement and validation of our worth we begin to entrap ourselves into a co-dependent state of conditionality.
One can`t be confident only when there is an external reinforcement, and neither can be not confident where there is lack of such.
Practicing neutrality correlates to our state of higher consciousness. We are not just bigger than what we think or feel. We are bigger than what we know we can think or feel. In other words, we can only be in control of our environment when we disallow it to control us.
III. Be Your Own Best Friend
At step three we are now building the roof of our confidence structure. Its bricks are self-reliance, self-motivation, and self-care.
Having friends and a support group is an integral element of our optimal wellness. We are designed to form tribes, belong to a community and engage in frequent social interactions with each other. However, when it comes to building confidence, you need to enter its realms on your own. No one else can do the work for you. Even the people who love and deeply care for you. It is your own responsibility to practice discipline, learn the assignment and show up for yourself. My third practice for you to employ is inner friendship. For the next 21 days reunite to your heart and begin addressing yourself as you were your own best friend.
Would you talk down to your best friend when they experience a struggle?
Would you not comfort them when they feel pain and are discouraged?
Would you not encourage them to be back on track after they lose motivation?
We often times tend to be too harsh on ourselves and too demanding of excellence and perfection. On the other side of the spectrum, a best friend would tell you when you do need to step outside of your comfort zone and grow, and do it in a way that comes from a place of love and care, and not criticism and judgment. A best friend would listen to your fears with empathy but – at a certain point – would also remind you that it is time for you to confront them and move on.
To be confident doesn’t mean we shall act arrogantly or lose humility. Just the opposite, being confident means being humble. We don’t try to prove our worth, we know our worth. We don’t relapse into negative self-talk because we know how to detach from our fears by transcending them into neutrality; we know how to listen with compassion and let things go.
We don’t demand confirmation that we are moving forward because we are following our path, and that’s enough knowledge. We now unconditionally accept ourselves. And have unstoppable confidence that we are worthy and capable of achieving everything our heart desires.
With love and care,
*If you have question or comments don’t hesitate to send me an e-mail.
I am honored to be your guide.
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I’ve always loved to dance, since I was four-five years old. Nevertheless, dancing, for me, is more than the activity of moving your body to (or even without) music. It’s our inner rhythm, our compass, our most natural self-expression. And it’s in all of us. Everybody is designed to move freely and be in balance with their body.
It is unnatural to be static, sedentary and in a misalignment to our somatic intelligence and mind&body connection. The way we feel about ourselves is imprinted in our posture, poise and grace. For all genders. When one feels confident and connected to their emotions, their body directly synthesizes that cellular information and displays it through their movement.
When I started my wellness blog, I hesitated to share my story. I wasn`t sure If I should be that vulnerable online with so many people who don`t know me, and even more challenging, with those who do!
I realized, however, that my own transformational story is the very reason I “heard” and followed my calling to become a motivational speaker, writer, wellness blogger, and – as of now – a health coach. In addition, the mission of my platform is to show that vulnerability is the first critical step toward healing.
As Peter Nivio Zarlenga said, “To come to be you, you must have a vision of Being, a Dream, a Purpose, and a Principle. You will become what your vision is.”
During my undergraduate studies at the University of Washington (from where I graduated in 2018, with a double major and honors in dance), I was first exposed to the healing properties of dance therapy, mindful eating, meditation and the practice of journaling to metacognition-enhancing prompts.
Gradually, yet steadily, my whole life transformed! I built strong confidence in myself; learned how to listen to my intuition; gained the courage to become an entrepreneur, and (most importantly) followed my passion to create a spiritual business that weaves my intrapersonal and interpersonal skills (based on my degree in International Studies and previous educational experience in Cross-Cultural Communications and Sociology), and my love for dance and mindful living.
Finally, the spiral has come to a completion and I have the privilege to create a platform that serves to encourage and inspire all of you to say “YES” to your dreams, your needs and desires.
As Joseph Campbell wisely: “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek”.
The reason I named my brand Dance Fit Ideas is because dance symbolizes my passion for helping people be more connected to their emotional, mental and physical health. Fitness is more than an aesthetic value. In fact, it begins with our intention to be fit, in the very idea to change, become better and feel more aligned to who we are, and who we can become once we become truly connected to our ultimate potential.
If you are looking for ways to become more empowered, more confident, more loving, more giving, more centered, more grounded, more appreciated and more successful – in all areas of your life, subscribe to my blog to receive weekly motivation and resources how to achieve all of your fitness and wellness goals.
Getting up and moving on with our day is simple. Waking up with constant excitement for life is a bit more complex…Because it requires a daily routine and a commitment.
In a matter of fact, any morning routine should begin the night before.
Pre-Morning Routine Tip: Visualize Your Goals The Night Before
Setting the intention for your goals for the next day, prior to falling asleep, primes your brain to get them started once when you wake-up. Works like magic! While you sleep the delta waves of your brain automatically rewind your subconscious mind to your most recent experiences. Chances are you would wake up much happier when you go to bed in a positive mood.
1. Hydrate First Before Caffeine
Hydration not only stimulates our body to wake up in a natural way but, metaphorically, also cleanses our mind and purifies our thoughts.
In addition, drinking a cup of boiled hot water with lemon juice -before coffee (or other beverages)- not only aids our digestion but stimulates our hormones to prepare us for an awaken and energetic state of being. That way, we are not dependent on caffeine to get us through the day and we are not compromising our adrenals.
2. Enhance Your Coffee And Brain Function With MCT Oil
But for those of us who do drink coffee…Try using MCT Oil! Adding just the right amount of fatty acids to your coffee balances your sugar levels, speeds up your metabolism, and improves your brain function.
If you are more adventerous, add a dash of cinnamon and cayenne pepper.
Cinnamon has proven benefits in balancing insulin as well, and the capsaicin ingredient in cayenne pepper aids blood circulation and speeds digestion.
I mix all of the ingredients together in my small blender and sip on the concoction as I am answering e-mails.
Creamy and Delicious
C if for Coffee
Recipe: a cup of coffee, a teaspoon of MCT oil, a splash of almond milk, a dash of cinnamon and cayenne pepper
3. If You Are Not A Morning Eater, Try Intermittent Fasting
Intermittent fasting is a way of eating many of us practice, naturally. Essentially, it means prolonging your first meal and allowing your body to spend between twelve and fourteen (*for males, it can go up to sixteen-eighteen) hours in a fasted state where no food is consumed and the body is given a necessary break. Accordingly, we are using this energy to work on our projects with more focus and stamina.
Also, if you implement my previous tip for enhanced performance, you may find that adding MCT to your morning coffee blurs your hunger and you actually have more energy. Even though MCT contains calories, it doesn’t trigger an Insulin response which, biochemically, means your body is kept in a “fasted” state.
4. Move Your Body
No coffee or intermittent fasting routine can be as energizing as if compared to exercise. So, so important to move our bodies and set our day right!
If your schedule only allows you to exercise later in the day, of course, plan your day around that.
But if you can do it after you wake up, try implementing an invigorating movement that energizes every cell and muscle in your body: jogging in place, jumping jacks; planks, vinyasa yoga, active stretching, squats, going for a brisk walk…dancing to your favorite song!
Remember that even 10 minutes is A LOT more than nothing at all.
Nevertheless, regardless when you do it and for how long, please move your body more during the day. Get up every hour and stretch and use your feet more than you use your car/public transportation.
We compromise our spines A LOT with the amount of sitting we do on a daily basis and it is highly important – for our health – to live our life in a flexible and stress-free body.
What is your favorite morning hack? Let me know!
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Do you add turmeric to your meals? Did you know it has superb anti-inflammatory properties that fight infection and strengthen the immune system?
In this post, I share with you how to make golden milk and a turmeric salad dressing.
I. Turmeric Latte
I love turmeric latte because it’s warming, grounding and very nourishing for the body when it’s cold outside. The ingredients in this golden milk include cell protective compounds, anti-inflammatory properties and a brain boosting effect. ••• Ingredients for one serving: 🌟🌟🌟 – 1/2 cup of non-dairy milk (I think hemp milk works best but you can also use almond, oat or rice milk) – 1 tsp of turmeric – 1 small piece of fresh ginger -1/2 tsp of cinnamon (I add nutmeg as well) – 1 pinch of ground black pepper* – A dropfull of stevia or maple syrup (or two dates) 🌙🌙🌔 You can either mix all ingredients in a small saucepan and bring to a boil, of blend them together and then add a 1/4 cup of boiling water. The second method takes less time and tastes just as good.
*IMPORTANT: the curcumin in turmeric is best absorbed in the body in combination with piperine, found in black pepper.
—~>> The base is spinach, steamed Brussel sprouts and few slightly warmed pineapple chunks. 🌼🌼🌼🎋 Spicy, hearty and sweet = > my favorite combination! 🙌🏻
If you liked this recipe please share it with your friends, and subscribe to my blog to receive notifications for my next posts.
p.s I am also a firm believer that the food we eat brings comfort and holistic healing to our physical and energetic body. The color yellow can be used therapeutically to open up the solar plexus and bring vital energy to the spleen, liver pancreas, and stomach.
*If you like to learn more about chakra music and meditation – check this post.