How To Resolve Conflict Before It Even Arises
Success, in any area of your life, is 25% of what you’re doing and 75% who you’re BEING.
Ask yourself, “Who AM I BEING while communicating with my partner/the people in my life?”
Then ask yourself, “Do I like this person?”
My definition of success includes not just our own health and prosperity but also the health and wellbeing of our immediate connections; especially the ones with our partners.
There are two ways to deal with conflict: with INTELLIGENCE or with insecurities
This is HOW emotionally intelligent people perceive conflict:
- They see differences impartially + are not defensive
- They are able to ingrate opposite perspectives
- They are not fighting for their opinions; they state them calmly without bursting into tantrums
- They look for a practical solution that resolves the conflict
- They seek understanding; not retaliation
- The practice the tenets of non-violent communication
- They don`t play the victimhood card and don`t blame others
- They express their boundaries firmly AND kindly
- They take FULL responsibility for their actions
- They want to learn HOW not to repeat the same conflict again
The more our stress levels rise, the less grounded we feel, and the less likely we are to practice self-awareness.
Also, the higher our stress levels rise, the harder it makes our immune system work and actually weakens it.
Stressed people tend to get snappy and defensive, which quickly escalates to conflicts resulting from poor communication.
Have you ever noticed that when you have a thousand things seemingly happening at once, you might be quicker to snap at someone when they ask you something?
Pandemic life is a cause of overwhelm for a lot of people which often leaves them feeling anxious, moody and irritable.
The truth is that now, more than ever, it is vitally important to practice mindfulness and avoid unnecessary arguments with the people in your life.
At the end of the day, you are the one that SUFFERS if your relationships are not thriving.
How To Resolve Conflict in 5 Steps:
1. Find the cause… ask empathetic questions like “When did you begin feeling this way?”… “How did this problem begin…?” … “How can I fix this/help you fix it?”
2. Uncover the “why” underneath the why of the conflict... conflicts escalate like a volcano… you have to dig deeper than the eruption to find the sequential order of events that are the root of the cause
3. Involve the other person and work as a team … make sure you understand their perspective and are not accusative or judgmental… Ask questions such as “How can we move past this?”… “How can I make sure I am learning from this conversation?”
4. Come up with a solution that is acceptable for all parties.… resolutions are not sustainable unless all parties work as a team and take full responsibility for their behavior
5. Create actions steps that involve a clear pathway forward …avoiding future conflicts before they even arise by remembering the lesson and preventing the conflict from repeating itself … ask yourself what do you plan to do if a conflict arises again, and create anchors that will help you remember the lesson
If you don’t know how to execute all of these steps, I can help!
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