Not feeling enough tends to produce lower self-esteem. Not feeling enough often results in seeking external validation Not feeling enough corresponds to the tendency of suppressing your needs or seeking approval from others Not feeling enough robs us of our divine birthright to claim our worth and raise our standards. For many years (from my […]
Key Interpersonal Communication Skills You Need To Improve To Express Your Needs Without Guilt
Shutting down (or stuffing in our emotions) doesn’t solve the root of the problem’s causation; it only exacerbates it further.
Because if you have the pattern of not expressing your needs clearly, it is likely that, eventually, your numbed feelings will erupt like a volcano causing you to snap at people or say things you regret.
The most common reason for misunderstandings and conflict in intimate relationships is persistent withdrawal and the lack of consistent communication between partners.
This applies to your work environment as well.
You are either a good communicator or not!
When you feel upset/annoyed/frustrated, do you tend to close off instead of speaking up?
Do you tend to bottle down your emotions, or do you know how to express them without sounding accusative or defensive?
Clear, non-violent communication that delivers our emotions directly and compassionately is key to resolving any conflict.
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Speaking your needs is not being needy; it is a sign of emotional maturity.
If you continuously run from your emotions to be perceived as ”drama-free,” you will eventually explode uncontrollably.
That said, expressing our emotions doesn’t have to come acrss as egocentric or self-centered either!
There is a happy medium between emotional escapism and emotional explosion which is called effective communication.
It is much harder to stay present and hold space for the other person than shutting down and avoiding the conversation.
And is the only way to avoid ambiguity, confusion and passive aggressiveness.
- Maintaining healthy boundaries in our interactions with the world doesn’t involve building walls.
- Maintaining healthy boundaries involves building trust. Trust in our unique needs, desires and worthiness of unedited self-expression.
- It isn’t our responsibility to teach others how to communicate effectively but is our responsibility to project clearly our own values, needs and opinions.
To more you speak up (with kindness and compassion!), the less you will shut down emotionally when you feel misunderstood or unappreciated.
When we take a step forward toward valuing our truth, our relationships begin to shift and transform towards reciprocated respect, trust and effective communication.
~ With love and care,
If you need more help learning how to ask for what you want (in all areas), I recommend you reading this article and watching the free webinar I created on the topic.
Next read: Are you a people’s pleaser?
When I was 22, I decided to embark on a journey of reinventing my habits and mindset and, on a sheet of paper, I pledged to myself:
“I, Ana-Maria Georgieva, commit to creating a purposeful and fulfilling life measured by my chosen standards!”
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