The most common reason for misunderstandings and conflict in intimate relationships is the presence of persistent withdrawal and the lack of consistent communication between partners.
When you feel upset, do you tend to close off instead of speaking up?
Please remember than shutting down (or stuffing in our emotions) doesn’t solve the causation of the problem; it only exacerbates it further.
Clear, non-violent, communication that delivers our emotions directly but also compassionately is key to resolving any conflict.
Speaking your needs in a relationship is not being needy; it is being emotionally mature. If you constantly run from your emotions in order to be perceived as ”drama-free,” eventually you will explode uncontrollably.
That said, expressing our emotions doesn’t have to come across as egocentric or self-centered either! There is a happy medium between emotional escapism and emotional explosion and is called effective communication.
This is the kind of communication where we honor our truth and are also respectful and considerate of the other person’s point of view. It is much harder to stay present and hold space for the other person than shutting down and avoiding the conversation. But is the only way to avoid ambuiguity, confusion and passive aggresiveness.
- Maintaining healthy boundaries in our interactions with the world doesn’t involve building walls.
- Maintaining healthy boundaries involves building trust. Trust in our unique needs, desires and worthiness of unedited self-expression.
- It isn’t our responsibility to teach others how to communicate effectively but is our responsibility to project clearly our own values, needs and opinions.
To more you speak up (with kindness and compassion!), the less you will shut down emotionally when you feel misunderstood or unappreciated.
When we take a step forward toward valuing our truth, our relationships begin to shift and transform towards reciprocated respect, trust and effective communication.
~ With love and care,